If only I’d known…. 12 months in private practice
Thursday 11am. July 2014.
Well this is it. My first client in private practice is due to arrive. I know very little about him other than a brief chat on the phone. I’m nervous. More than nervous. Scared that it won’t go ok.
It’s my first assessment outside of an agency context and I’m worried about missing stuff, scaring him off, getting it wrong.
The doorbell rings. I take a deep breath, feel my feet firmly on the ground and go to open the door.
Roll on 12 months and the landscape has changed for me. Those initial days were full of excitement and apprehension, getting the private practice off the ground and running.
I’d done all I could at that point: registered on directories, built a website, found a supervisor and premises to work from. It was just about wondering who and how many would come.
Reflecting back on this time, I’m proud to say, yes I’m a Psychosynthesis Counsellor in private practice.
Here’s a snapshot of what I’ve found challenging and what I’ve loved, through a psychosynthesis lens:
All the subpersonalities
Well, you may have noticed my identification in my critic and frightened child as I waited for my first client. Both those subpersonalities, are still alive and well. But I’ve noticed how others have been important too. My therapist, of course. The organiser, and company director, the project manager, the friend and colleague. I’ve noticed there’s so much more than the therapist part involved in running a practice.
Where there’s the will
An essential part of my journey has been to stay strong, in the belief that I can make it and to move past critics and naysayers in my life, including my own inner ones. There’s skilful will to get things set up and to learn new skills in becoming self-employed. And transpersonal will, to stay with both the process and belief of the calling of this work, come what may. Talking of which…
Bi-focally yours
The evolution of my practice has been bumpy and challenging at times. I could have stayed in the pain and distress of what wasn’t working but have also wanted to hold on to the potential of my work, both for my clients and also knowing that there’s so much more to emerge in my work as a counsellor.
My ideal
I realise now that I was still working out who I was as a counsellor when I started. Now with time and client hours under my belt, I feel my ideal model is emerging. I can say who it is I want to work with and in what way, with greater clarity and confidence.
Being on your own is both scary and liberating. I’ve been thankful to rent rooms in a vibrant, supportive clinic. We’re all self-employed but there is a real intent to create and support the community of therapists. Working in private practice can feel isolating and knowing others are there, helps.
There have been some pain, crisis and failure along the way. I’ve learned a lot more about myself working in this context and where my edges are.
Self-care
I come back time and again to the need to stay sound and strongly rooted in this work and so self-care are so important. How can we tend to clients if we can’t tend to ourselves? But sometimes the pressure I can put on myself to be making the most of my time and living can get in the way of that.
What helps? I keep turning back to nature. I resource myself, not only through supervision and therapy, but also with a deep connection with nature. It’s a personal ecotherapy that enriches and sustains me.
So back to that Thursday morning in July 2014. Did it go ok? Well yes, you could say the person who came was just the client I needed to get my work off the ground, gently, safely. And I’m thankful for all those who have followed.
Matt Fox
Matt is a Psychosynthesis counsellor in private practice. He trained at the Trust in Group 45 and now works indoors and outdoors with clients in Brighton and Hove, and in Sussex. He’s also a founder of the Centre for Ecotherapy, a not for profit organisation providing access to ecotherapy services and training. You can find out more on his website www.mattfoxcounselling.co.uk and www.centreforecotherapy.org.uk