Book Launch – Daughters: How to Untangle Yourself From Your Mother

The Trust are delighted to welcome Julia Vaughan Smith and Helen Sieroda to discuss Julia’s most recent book, Daughters: How to Untangle Yourself from Your Mother.  

Long term friend of the Trust Helen Sieroda will be in conversation with Julia to talk about the new title, a book for daughters who are and/or were in difficult or challenging relationships with their mother, and for those coaches, counsellors and therapists who work with such daughters. Julia explores the factors that may have created such a relationship; the dynamics that are in play and, importantly, how to move out of them, making the point that we can’t change our mother, but we can change our responses to her.  

About the book:  

Daughters: How to Untangle Yourself From Your Mother is a self-coaching book for women in difficult relationships with their mothers, who want to understand how these patterns of relating came into being and how to change them. The book explores the factors that influence such relationships from conception onwards, and what holds them in place now we are adults. It includes the challenges of being raised by negative, narcissistic, distant, smothering and dependent mothers, and looks at how they may have become like this. Mothers are daughters too. The book doesn’t blame mothers or daughters but takes a compassionate and non-judgemental approach to the topic. At the heart of such relationships is emotional trauma, and the book addresses this in a way that will promote insight and well-being. There are self-help exercises throughout the book to take readers on their own learning and change. 

The book invites readers into a conversation about some difficult topics, including maternal ambivalence and the emotional pain of not feeling loved, seen, protected or valued by the mother. Sadly, the family environment for some children is not a loving one, nor is it one where the family is struggling with many challenges which affect how the mother can relate to her daughter. Not all daughters stay with their birth mothers, some are raised by adoptive or foster mothers, or other family members. They may have relationships with both birth and adoptive mothers, either or both of which may be difficult for the daughter. 

In focusing on daughters and mothers, the book also recognises the importance of fathers, mothers’ partners, and close family to how we develop. The author acknowledges that sons and mothers, daughters and fathers, sons and fathers can also be difficult and challenging relationships, however, the focus of this book is daughters and mothers. 

Early reviewers have said: 

“Wise and Impactful” 

“Reassuring and hopeful” 

“Astonishing” 

“Immensely helpful” 

“Invites you into a conversation about a difficult topic” 

“…gentle, compassionate and non-judgemental.” 

About the Author: Julia Vaughan Smith  

Julia is an accredited master executive coach and coach supervisor; a qualified psychotherapist (no longer practising) who has spent many years as an organisational and leadership development consultant primarily in health care. ‘Daughters: How to Untangle Yourself from Your Mother’ is her third book and her first for a general readership. Her two previous books ‘Coaching and Trauma’ and ‘Therapist to Coach’ were written for coaches. She has been teaching about coaching and trauma for the last five years.   

About Helen Sieroda 

Helen is an APECS Accredited Master Executive Coach with over 30 years’ experience, working with HR professionals, consultants, leaders, managers who work in banking, airlines, telecommunications, education, manufacturing, healthcare, government, and media as well as with charities, micro-businesses, and entrepreneurs.  

In 2012 Helen founded Wise Goose School of Coaching, designing, and delivering Association for Coaching accredited training in coaching at foundation and advanced levels. Helen is also a partner of GameShift an FT ranked leading management consultancy. who help individuals, teams, and organisations flourish in today’s unpredictable world.